She stood by her window which overlooked quite a large portion of the city….which had already started to coming back to life….She felt the familiar distress and anxiety building within her. Priya knew…she would bow down to it someday and was dreading it.
That day…A day when she will have to face her fear.
She forced herself to move towards bathroom, she had to get ready…for she has to go on as if nothing was amiss. She took shower and got ready…putting on a light blue dress which she liked very much and topped it with simple pendent and a light bracelet…she was never fond of much jewelry…
She found mom and dad at drawing room, waiting for her . Good morning dad, mom she wished….so dad how is the world today….there is earthquake in Haiti honey….dad replied not moving his eyes from TV…its catastrophic!! Everything they had is gone….everything that ever stood there is ruins now…nothing is left ….He exclaimed…..
Priya while sipping her tea, and looking at TV thought inwardly, ‘ what a similarity, when the truth comes out…there will be nothing for me here too….nothing will ever be same again…what can I do to avert it?’
She finished her breakfast and made a way to office….While driving, she kept looking at her mobile..half wishing, half praying that it will not ring……it didn’t.
The day in the office went usual..except two things, she didn’t find carol out there…and she was glad of it….she didn’t want to face her, at least not now.
And secondly, despite the fact, that nither her mobile rang, nor she had to face carol, she was ill at ease..she was gittery for the entire day.
Hey priya!! Watch out…. Saurabh shouted right behind her and she instantly felt a pull….she landed with a thud on top of saurabh a second laiter…. ‘Are you alright? What were you thinking? Is this how u are going to cross road ? u almost managed to get yourself killed…what’s wrong?’
Saurabh was looking at her full of concern….
‘I am fine’ she muttered…just a dizziness I guess…I am ok now..thanks…
‘Should I drop you home?’ saurabh asked? No I will go…got car…thanx again….c you
Once back at home, Priya excused herself from her parents on the ground of hadache and went straight into her room …closed door…dashed to bathroom…put on shower….stood there soakin herself with water that flew from shower, tears that flew from her eyes….
Later that night, she gazed at the wide starlit sky and searched for an answer….she had to…she couldn’t just go on like this….she had to put an end to it…..
Next morning as usual at breakfast time daughter and father’s duo sat gazing at TV….there was yet another news which had risen to controversy…Gay rights and liberties…glancing sidewardly she asked her dad casually…um..what’s ur take on it dad?
I don’t like it? Was the only answer she got…the tone set it clear that there was nothing more to be discussed….so she took off…..
Just as the lift’s door was to close, she managed to enter it…and to all her shock she found her self facing carol. Half wishing to get down from she stood frozen in between.
‘Get in… Not gonna byte u’ carol said looking at her…she had to….
Once reaching the floor they went ahead towards their respective cabins to start their day at office just as usual. In order to save herself from second faceoff, priya stayed glued to her cabin even through out lunch….in fact she only moved out only after 8 p.m when peon came asking how much more time would she be there for. She decided to call it a day and asked him to close the door….
Just as she was stepping out, ramesh (peon) calls out her name…
Priya madam….just a second….she turned and saw him coming towards her sprinting…..
Madam, I almost forgot, Carol madamji resigned yesterday….today was her farewell….she left a box for you…here u are….gudnight madam……
And ramesh walked away….Priya stood there numb…holding the box in her hand……shaking….with void in her mind…in her soul….
A week passed by, and for entire week , priya looked as if some vampire has been hunting her for quenching his thirst slowly killing her by sucking out life from her….her eyes were dull….she didn’t smile…she didn’t do anything that she used to…….
All these were not overlooked by Saurabh, infact he was watcher her quite closely ….. He finally decided that he had to talk to her…..can’t let her be so disastrous for herself…..
As she dragged herself out of the office building, Saurabh caught up with her…..
‘Hi Pri! How’s my girl doing?’
I am fine Saurabh
Wanna join me for coffe? Saurabh Questioned….
“Ah…umm…No…actually …Got lot to do….maybe some other time” she wanted to walk away…
Did u read it?
She stood still for and entire minute and then slowly turned towards saurabh..half shocked, half afraid….
Saurabh stood there all serious, yet with a concerned look….a look that said…I am there for you baby….
What do u mean?
Saurabh, “ I mean the letter, the one that was there along with the pendent in the box, that carol left behind for you… Did u read it? ‘
Not knowing how to react…she just gazed at his face….
“I know it, at least to the extent what was written in it..How can just avoid it dammit!!! It’s about ur life, your love, your happiness”
Saurabh stop! Don’t…..just don’t… It’s over, she is gone…and in any case it wasn’t right…. She said in between her sobs.
By whose standard’s….saurabh shouted…..
Saurabh…she said almost pleading…..we live in society….We can’t go against it…everything would be ruined…not forget the effects it would bring down upon our family….I can’t face it….
Saurabh came close to her hugged her tight…and stood there …waiting patiently for her sobs to die…..
that evening saurabh called up her parents and told them that he was taking her out for disco and she would be late….to which no one had objection…they were childhood friends…..
As they sat side by side….at beach…watching tides…come and hit the shores …none spoke for long…..
“Live for your self Pri…don’t do that….it’s about you….” Saurabh pleaded….
“I am going to loose everything, if I do as u are asking me to…do you want that to happen…what about dad and mom?’
They will understand…if not today…someday…but this day will never come back...Love doesn’t happen by planning….just don’t loose it.
As they prepared to leave….He handed her a folded page and told her….. “ at leas read it….At least have some honour for others feelings”
She opened the letter with trembling hands……it was carol’s beautiful writing……
It does’t matter we are close to each other..or far off….
It does’t matter we can hear each other or not,
The beats of my heart keeps me telling…she is there….with you….for you….
My heart aches at your pain, I wish I could do something for you…..
Something that would ease of the pain, the bleeding, the battered feeling….
But alas! I am so helpless….can’t do anything…So here I go away…..
Away from you…praying that u may be relived of your pain….
Even though, going away is killing me…for since I have known you,
I belong to you, Every breath that I take…brings your scent along with it…they sunrays make me yearn for your touch….without you I am devoid of soul…..
But I will live…for as I say….the beats of my heart keeps telling me…she is there...with you …for you…in you…..
Priya lost count of the minutes that passed by…..by the time she got hold of herself….the only thing that mattered to her was…she wanted to see carol….and before that she had to put things straight….at least for her mom and dad….and those who mattered……
As priya came out of arrival lobby, she scanned for a face that was known to her…her heart was beating madly…an anexity to see that one face was something that was unbearable for her now……
There she was…..carol stood there…..with glitter of joy and tear in her eyes…..a smile on her face…she stood there…..Priya….rushed to her…..they hugged each other…as if afraid to let go of each other…..carol whispered in her ears… Priya… I am so sorry you had to walk away from people you loved so much…..carol muttered
Don’t worry they will come around….someday…Now that I have out….done away with pretentions, I happy…. Priya replied……
So…..how did this happen…. to which she replied with tears in her eyes….
I knew why my heart was bleeding…I overlooked it….
I knew what was the thing that my soul searched for……
What I didn’t realize was that even my dead heart would not stop beating….
For it beats for u…in you….I live for u…with u…and in you
